How Does EMDR Actually Work?

EMDR works by helping the brain complete the processing of a memory or experience that got stuck.

When something traumatic or frightening happens, the brain sometimes fails to process it fully — particularly when the experience was overwhelming, happened during a period of high stress, or occurred in childhood before the brain had the capacity to make sense of it. The memory becomes stored in a raw, unprocessed form — with the original images, emotions, physical sensations and beliefs still attached to it in their full intensity.

Every time something in the present triggers that memory — consciously or unconsciously — the nervous system responds as if the event is happening right now. This is why trauma responses can feel so disproportionate and so difficult to control through logic or willpower alone.

EMDR uses bilateral stimulation — typically side-to-side eye movements, tapping or auditory tones — to activate both hemispheres of the brain simultaneously while the person holds the distressing memory in mind. This bilateral activation appears to mimic the brain's natural memory processing mechanism — similar to what happens during REM sleep — allowing the stuck memory to finally be processed, integrated and stored as a past event rather than a present threat.

The emotional charge of the memory reduces. The physical response calms. The belief attached to the experience — "I'm not safe", "I'm going to die", "I have no control" — shifts naturally to something more adaptive and true.

What Does an EMDR Session Actually Feel Like?

This is one of the questions I'm asked most often - and it's a fair one, because EMDR sounds unusual from the outside.

Here's what a typical session looks like:

We begin with a thorough history - understanding the specific event or pattern we're working with, what emotions and physical sensations are associated with it, and what negative belief about yourself or the world it has created.

We then identify a target memory or experience to work with. You don't need to describe it in detail - you simply hold it in mind while we begin the bilateral stimulation. I will guide your eyes from side to side, or use tapping, while you notice whatever comes up - images, sensations, emotions, thoughts. You don't need to do anything with them. Just notice and let them move.

Most people describe the experience as something shifting - like watching a film from a distance rather than being inside it. The memory becomes less vivid, less charged, less immediate. Physical sensations in the body soften and release. Emotions that felt overwhelming become manageable, then neutral.

Between sets of bilateral stimulation we pause briefly and I ask what you're noticing. We follow whatever comes up - the brain leads the processing, and it often moves in unexpected and revealing directions.

Sessions are generally between 60 and 90 minutes. Some memories resolve in a single session. Others - particularly complex or layered experiences — require several sessions. Most clients notice a significant shift within the first one or two sessions and report feeling lighter, calmer and less reactive to the triggers that previously hijacked their nervous system.

It is not uncommon to feel emotionally tired after an EMDR session as the brain has done significant processing work. Most people also report sleeping deeply that night.